From the last episode of the first series, Towering Alan. Alan and Dave have an on-air spat and Alan replaces T’s for D’s.

Alan (to his listeners):

That was Japan. The effeminate futurists, from the 80’s. With “Life Can Be Cruel in Tokyo”. It’s certainly congested. I’d love to go. In the meantime, it’s seven o’clock. Oh, Guv’nor, he’s got me bang to rights, it’s Chief Constable Dave Clifton of Scotland Yard’s very own plainclothes pop force.

Dave:

Yes. Good morning, Alan…

Alan:

Whoa, let me finish. Hello, hello, hello.

Dave:

Yeah, I think your splidding hairs a little bit there Alan.

Alan:

Sorry, splidding?

Dave:

Yeah, splidding, you know.

Alan:

Sorry, it’s difficult to understand you when you say splidding. Because I know in real life you say “splitting”. It’s interesting the way you substitute a “d” for a “t” when you’re broadcasting. If you ask me, it’s the behaviour of a dosser.

Dave:

A dosser?

Alan:

Yes. A dosser and a dwad.

Dave:

Alan Partridge there…

Alan:

There are others, aren’t there. There’s did-head,  and there’s dalendless shid. And if rumours are to be believed, you’re back on the boddle.

Dave:

Err, this is “Einstein A Go Go”.

Alan:

Gid. That’s git.